Knowing how to make friends is extremely important. Being surrounded, having a broad and dynamic social circle, having friends with whom you can confide, who you can rely on, who push you to discover new things, are extremely beneficial.
This allows you to feel appreciated, not to fall into isolation and loneliness, and to make more encounters, as your friends allow you to meet other people. Moreover, being well surrounded, and having friends on whom to rely also makes it possible to have more opportunities for career, meetings, life choices … And above all, your friends are there for you in Cases of a harsh blow, in the same way, that you are there for them in the case of a hard blow.
In short, having friends and a diverse social circle allows you to have a radically different and infinitely richer life than if you are standing alone in your corner.
Most people have friends and instinctively know how to make friends and how to maintain friendly relationships on a daily basis.
But others who are timider or more socially isolated – or simply uprooted, after a difficult move or a difficult break, for example – find themselves alone, without close friends or relatives, and if they do not have this Easy to go to others, it is then complicated for them to make friends because they no longer know how to do. This article will give you some tips on how to make friends.
This article explains how friendship is born and how to make friends to break solitude, get out of isolation, regain self-confidence and make more encounters.
How to make friends?
Basically, there are several successive steps, which you will have to follow in order.
- Create opportunities: get out more to increase your chances of meeting people.
- Get to know each other: get used to going to others and exchange with humor, lightness and good humor, just for fun.
- Learning To create a social bond with people, so that simple acquaintances, they gradually become friends.
So basically, to make friends, no miracle, you will have to put aside your own love and your fear of being ridiculous and rejected, and find the strength to go to others to make their acquaintance.
1: Creating Opportunities: Get Out of Home!
It is not difficult to make friends; It is enough just to make some efforts, which sometimes tend to neglect. Most of the time, people who feel alone and wonder how to make friends are simply isolated and too lonely.
So get out of your home as much as possible: every opportunity to get out and meet people is good to take. Do not miss any opportunity. Go out for a drink on the terrace, go see a soccer match in a pub near you, go see shows of comedians, join some associations on subjects that interest you, or simply go for a walk when the weather is nice.
The idea is to get out of your home and go where other people go, in order to increase your chances of making nice encounters.
2: Get to know: be open and friendly!
Going out is not everything, yet you have to meet people. For this, the easiest way is to go out with an open and friendly mindset. Be in a good mood. Be smiling. Show the world that you are not the aggressive or bad company. Be smiling, do not take your head: no one judges you, nobody will put you in prison.
And keep in mind that most people will react in a good way.
Address your neighbor/neighbor, people you meet, joke, or make a comment about what’s going on around you. At first, do not try to talk too long: get used to simply exchanging some kind words with people.
3: How to make friends? Knowing how to create links
Most people who wonder how to make friends fail here: they leave home, exchange a few words with the merchants, or with their sports partners, or their colleagues, but they fail to create friendships with them.
To make friends, to know how to go out and talk with the baker and the newsagent is not enough: it is an excellent start, but it is only the beginning.
The most important thing is to understand people’s psychology, and how friendships are built.
Basically, people become friends with those they meet regularly (because becoming friends takes time, getting used to each other, getting to know them); And of course, sharing common interests, opinions, common habits helps enormously.
In addition to common areas of common interest with others, changing this simple relationship to something more solid is done mainly in 3 ways:
- When you party with someone.
- When playing sports with someone.
- When going through trials with someone (at work: big complicated file for example, or school etc.)
For example, I became friends with Antoine, first because he was a colleague: his office was ready for mine, we could see each other all day. We broke the ice by talking to the coffee machine at work. As a result, we began to mess together throughout the day, to break the monotony of the work. Then we got into the habit of going for a beer once in a while after work, along with some other nice colleagues. Antoine had just been dumped, I am single, and suddenly we talked about football, but also, about girls and our respective conquests, the subject of inexhaustible conversation. But we’re not talking about that! We also talk about video games, current affairs, the work obviously, our colleagues, etc. In short, the discussion is never exhausted, and above all, We have humor both, so we enjoy the company of each other. So it happens all by itself, we started to do stuff together from time to time on weekends (soccer games between colleagues, or jogging) and it is quite naturally that simple colleagues who get along well, Became friends: we began to talk about more personal stuff, to confide to each other about our stories of complicated and painful girls.
You see the evolution? At first, we talked about futile stuff, everything and nothing (every day, getting used to each other and getting to know each other), and then, little by little, we shared More and more tricks, until they trust each other.
Today I know that Antony is my friend and that if I need him he will be there for me – because the reciprocal is true.
You also see that things are gradual, in order, and above all, that it takes time! You do not become a “friend” with someone overnight. One is, first of all, a colleague, a vague acquaintance; Then someone with whom the other gets along well, and if there is affinity, and as circumstances allow, we share more and more personal stuff, and become friends.
So what can one do who does not really have friends, and who wonders how to make friends? And quite simply, take the time to cultivate its social circle. You must have as much knowledge as possible. People from work, from your sports club, from your association, from the people in your neighborhood who you appreciate? Try to see as many people as possible, as often as possible. Do not try to rush things, consider that a friendship is cultivated and that before being a friendship, it is a simple knowledge. Take time to get to know people, without looking for anything other than having a good time with them. Do not complain. Be funny and relevant, give them service (but do not become a desperate pigeon either!).
On occasion, when the context suits, offer them to do something with you and a few other people: a drink, a football game, an outing, whatever: a little interesting and Which allows spending a good time. Suggest to people you know, and appreciate, to do stuff with you no matter what. So you can, for example, offer a colleague to go for a game of tennis or a squash? Or join a football club; Then propose to your teammates / your partner to have a drink? The friendships begin like this, and they are built little by little. That’s how we make friends.
Do not do it too much so as not to bother people: you have to go gradually at the beginning, and your proposals must remain natural, you must not feel that you force the natural course of things. Take your time.
4: Create Opportunities: Get Out More
If you know our forum, you may know Blusher? He is a very gifted young man to go out alone at night and make friends in the evening. His method is simple:
- An open mindset
- in a good mood
- Knowing that it does not risk anything serious
- Loving people, wanting to joke with anyone (man, woman, Irish bearded, Swedish tourist, dwarf: anyone can make you have a good time)
- Show friendly, open and not sticky
- Fun for real
People like people smiling, friendly, having fun and showing that they are friendly in chatting with a lot of people. Do not be shy: no one is your enemy. You’re not going to be ridiculous. Over time, you will learn to “know” them virtually, and if you offer them to do something together, some will necessarily agree.
And for those who live far away / who are isolated
I am aware that it is not easy to meet people when you live in somewhat isolated places. We are not going to lie, it is easier to meet people and make friends if you have an active life (that you work, that you have activities) and that you are in a big city. Much easier than if you live in a hamlet of 300 inhabitants lost in the Creuse.
If this is your case, it is probably necessary to ask yourself why you stay in a place where you have nothing to do and where you do not meet anyone: maybe it would be better for you to go To meet the world, in a city where you will find more opportunities for jobs and meetings – if you have the opportunity.
And in any case, what you can do is register on dating sites, internet forums like that of Frenchtouchseduction, and chat with people.
Friendship is something natural … but it takes effort
Being comfortable with others is like a muscle: you need to get warm, train yourself to become more comfortable. The more it goes, the easier it will become and natural for you, even if the beginnings might seem difficult and embarrassing.
Do not be too demanding
Towards yourself and towards others … It is often the big fault of people a little too timid. They expect a lot from others and impose a lot of demands on themselves. And so, they put a lot of barriers between them and the others.
I give this advice also because the loners tend to make negative judgments about others. Introverts may also be more demanding in their choice of friends. If you tend to lack enthusiasm with each new encounter, you must be vigilant to circumscribe this bad feeling.
No friendship is perfect. We all have defects, disagreeable traits for others, for which our friends adapt. Male friendships are generally shallower than women’s and are often based on common interests and activities. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just different. That means it’s pretty straightforward to go out with guys. Be the buddy with whom they drink, with whom they watch sports or with whom they go to concerts.
The first people you meet will surely not be your ideal friends, but the benefits of being outdoors are superior to those of making bacon at home. And accept the other that it is a little different from you, with different tastes, attitudes, and points of view. What you must systematically refuse is people who belittle you or make fun of you, but that is another matter.
Nothing is serious!
And if someone is reluctant, it is not the end of the world! If someone declines your proposal because he is busy or is not sure he can participate, do not give up the idea. Propose the next time.
Make a phone call and invite your contacts to a clubbing, movie, concert or sports-TV party, whatever you want. If you know that a group has planned something, ask to join them.
What the loners do wrong
These tips are simple, but solitaries do not follow them. They have a working or in-progress knowledge with which they chat, but they do not pass the next step of the relationship, which is to invite them outside the professional or academic framework.
Take control of things
Plan to do all the work. Do not wait for someone to invite you. If you want to move, pick up the phone and organize something. Some are passive and distracted, so much so that they would be happy to do something with you, but they would not have the idea of inviting you. Make sure your future friends have your contact information, in case they would like to offer you a trip.
We all have a generally busy life, so make it easy for them, for example by inviting them to an aperitif just after work rather than inviting them to a lonely corner an hour away.
Sometimes you will have to be persuasive. Someone will not feel like going out this evening, or you will have to convince that one place is preferable to another.
Planning activities can be tedious and hazardous. Be aware of it.
Become a YES Man, accept all invitations!
If someone invites you to an activity, then you should go. Why turn your back on a chance to get out?
If you are very shy and introverted, you will be tempted to decline and rationalize in while it would not be that fun. Ignore those thoughts and go for it anyway. You can never be sure that an outing will be interesting if you do not go.
Sometimes you will have to violate yourself in the name of your social life. You may be invited to see a film that does not make you especially envious, or someone will be able to call you on a Friday night where you aspire to rest. As soon as there are more than two or three people in the equation, there are inevitable compromises. Again, the social activity largely compensates for the inconvenience caused.
As soon as you know a few people, build your social circle on this foundation
As soon as you have made yourself one or two regular buddies, you have a good working basis. If you are very introverted by nature, two good friends will be a social circle largely enough to your happiness, or at least to suppress the feeling of loneliness.
Sooner or later, you will meet friends of your friends. If you have hooked atoms, go out with them too. Over time, you will become a full member of the entire group.
You can continue to meet new people. Having friends will help you in this task because they will invite you to parties or accompany you where you will potentially meet new people.
Maintain your friendships
Keep in regular contact, via phone, email, MSN, etc. Go out regularly with them. Every friend and acquaintance have his own rhythms to maintain a friendship. Some will be happy to see you once a month, while others will wonder if you are dead when they do not have news each week. A minimum of common sense and listening will give you an idea of these needs.
Do not be too demanding, do not harass your friends by relying entirely on them to serve your social life.
You may have no difficulty in starting friendships, but once you have gone through one or two outings, you may encounter an obstacle: the temptation to no longer give a sign of life. The introverted character and the lack of self-confidence can lead you to be uncertain of the degree of esteem you hold for your knowledge. You might be convinced that your friends do not like you so much and so decide not to maintain the relationship.
Your weak demands in terms of social life may lead you to go out not regularly enough to maintain the links. Shyness can block you when organizing an outing.
If you have not contacted an acquaintance for some time, it is not the end of the world. You can reconnect, without too much risk of passing for a clumsy. Do not think that you should automatically drop all non-maintained relationships. A phone call, some news and explanations, an exit project and it starts again!
Getting a good social life takes time, so work hard and persevere. Developing a solid group of friends can take years: be cool, friendly, open and tolerant, both to others and to yourself!
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