When Jeff gets home, he switches On the TV to watch the news or sports to relax and unwind the complicated and unsolved problems of his workplace. He relieves the stress of his office issues by just forgetting or not thinking about them. While Lauren, his wife, wants to talk about her problems of the day in order get relief from the stress of her work.
On another hand, Jeff is quite stressed as well and wants not to think anything about the work and targets and to lighten the burden of his mind. The unlike expectations of cooperation to cope with the stress go more consistent with time and make the relationship worse as the expectations aren’t fulfilled. Jeff starts thinking that Lauren is talking too much while Lauren makes a conception that Jeff is ignoring him and she is no more interested in him.
From the given example, you can easily understand how different a man and a woman thinks about an issue and how differently they choose the ways to cope with their stress. If Jeff will not understand that a woman has a tendency to react much differently than a man, he will never be able to get that his wife was willing to talk to him just to relief from the stress of the work. Similarly, without knowing that Jeff was watching the news just to get relax; Lauren may never be able to cooperate her man for the same.
How do men deal with stress?
When a man gets sad or stressed or feels low, he becomes comparatively introvert and limits talking with others. Usually, a man doesn’t discuss his problem with a man or woman until he finds that it’s too urgent to share with him or her, in order to get rid of his stress. He is very protective for his self-esteem and prefers to remain silent and sitting alone rather than asking for any help from anyone. By nature also, a man is comparatively less talkative and the male friends he makes also possess the same characteristics, hence it’s not that tough for them to remain for an hour or hours or a full day. If a problem shakes a man he can only be relieved by finding out a solution for the same or just by forgetting the problem and even if he needs to sit silently and think for hours in order to find out a solution, he never hesitates to do the same.
How do women deal with stress?
When a woman feels low, gets stressed or trapped in a problem, she comparatively talks more and gets relaxed with the same. A woman has a tendency to get comfortable by sharing her problem with the person she loves or she trusts and feels emotionally secured by the assurances she gets from that person. She takes it as a standard of her worth for a person and she judges her importance in their lives by the company provided to her when she was really in pain. A woman doesn’t demand a person to solve the actual problem and show up only with a solution; she wants a person just to hear her problem and support her by standing with her in that problem so that she doesn’t feel alone. A woman may get shaken by a very small problem if she doesn’t have someone to share her plans and to motivate her to complete her task, but she can face any kind of problem with the same level of comfort as any ordinary person if she has the support of someone she loves. If she knows that a person she loves, is standing with her; she gets filled with enormous energy and enthusiasm. She starts believing more in herself, her risk-taking abilities show an increase and she shows up with outstanding results.
How should they react to each other?
Now that you have got the problem and you know why it happens; it shouldn’t much tough to decide what the steps should be to make each other feel comfortable in their stressed days. But if you are clueless, I am here to help you with the same.
A woman should understand that a man usually gets silent only when he is trapped in a problem and doesn’t how to solve that. She should know that when he is sad or silent, he is doing it just to relax because he doesn’t bother her with his problems. She should understand that he is doing it to give some relaxation to his mind as he’s been much stressed and tired finding out a solution for the problem. She should avoid talking the household issues of her personal issues during that period as it may make him annoyed and he may just get out of him. She should give him some time to spend with himself and wait for him to return to the real world. A man knows his responsibilities for his families and certainly will come to her to ask how the things around are working and how he may assist her with the same.
As I have already told that women try to communicate more in order to get relaxed, a man should try to observe such changes in his woman. He should be able to notice the minor changes in her behavior and should try to know why she is getting sooner than other days. He should find out her reason for being upset, whether it due to stress work in her office or it is because her health is not supporting her or it is because she is not getting enough time to spend with him. If everything is good with her health as well as work; then maybe there is a thing that she wants to share with him. She wants him to sit with her and listen to her patiently. In one sentence, you are just supposed to accompany her even it’s not a topic of your interest or you can’t help her with a solution and you will see an unexpected change in her behavior that will help her to get back in back form quickly and keep your relationship charming and magical forever.