As parents, we often feel that we are “doing wrong” not being the “perfect parent” that we dreamed of becoming. Did you get it, the Super Dad’s or the Super Moms? How to know what is good for our “little ones”, how to be sure to adopt the right attitudes?
For it is clear that attitudes and parental style in general influence children and contribute to their learning and socialization. Ok, but what kind of parent am I and why? What kind of parent is most effective for my children’s development? What changes should I take?
Here is a little synthesis of the information I found on the subject … accompanied by the analysis of my own parental style:
The 4 styles of parenting education according to Diana Baumrind
The American psychologist classified the styles of parental education in the 1970s and then assessed their effects on children in terms of behavior.
Among the 4 styles of education ( Authoritarian, Democratic, Permissive and Disengaged ), the “democratic” style is clearly the one to be tended, The other three styles clearly causing psychological and behavioral disorders to children.
The 3 parenting styles of Beagreatparent.ca
The classification of the Canadian association Beagreatparent defines 3 parental styles: the severe parent, the permissive parent and the balanced parent. Guess who it is better to be? The balanced parent of course! When adopted, this parenting style allows children:
- To succeed better in school;
- Less often with depression or anxiety;
- To have a better self-esteem;
- Be less likely to engage in risky behaviors, including alcohol or other drug use, delinquency and violence.
The 4 types of parents of the Magazine Bien grandir
According to the author of this article, we constantly oscillate between four parental models … none of which is ideal: the permissive parent, the authoritarian parent, the overprotective parent and the alienating parent .
According to the author’s theory, the most important thing for a harmonious relationship with one’s children is to be in agreement with one’s own values (do not demand that your child be wise at the table if you make the clown – Lived no?). It is also important to rebalance your parental style when necessary and to adapt it to each child: according to age, temperament etc. The author also rightly points out that, in order to make things worse, Both parents do not necessarily follow the same type of parental model.
The 5 types of parents according to Claire Leduc
Claire Leduc describes in her book “The Parent Coach” 5 types of parents: Absent, Debonaire, Trainer, Bossy and Abusive. It is clearly preferable to be a Parent Coach, which is the equivalence of the balanced and democratic parent of previous classifications. “Communication in the family is positive. We are interested in the other, we listen. The aim is to develop the autonomy of the child in a context where rules are clearly defined in the family. ”
These different analyses reminded me of Isabelle Filliozat’s theory of which I have read the book “There is no perfect parent” this summer and according to which the type of parent that we are draws its origins from the model of Parent we had! I will give you a summary and a review very soon.
But by the way, and you, what kind of parent are you?